....Invisible

Good morning darling, he says calmly. The first sentence of the day comes out from his mouth in a polite way, as he would be greeting his colleague.

Good morning answers Veronica with a sleepy sound in her voice. How come that man sounds the same every single morning of the year, she asks in her mind. Even if there would be angry lions raining down from the ceiling, he would have the same dead, emotionless morning opening. 

He does not yawn, he does not rob his eyes. There are no signs from the night that made him sleep just a moment ago. This is not normal, did I marry a man or an alien, she continues her thoughts. Or maybe he is a robot, a spy robot, working for the government of France. The whole thing about being a French diplomat must be an undercover story, she exaggerates in her mind. 

We must make sure that Victoria studies for her mathematics exam today, he says. It is very important for her future to do well with her high school and we need to make sure that she knows that. Veronica does not care about her daughters future seven a clock in the morning. That is too early, maybe later. In fact what she cares about is the act that made her daughter born into this world 19 years ago. Yes, an act is the word for that. Her husband is polite even while they have sex. 

It is an act for him, such as asking their daughter to read for the exam. It has to be efficient and serve a purpose for the future or otherwise it is a waste of time. Veronica does not have any other purpose right now than to get him inside her, she really wants that. She wants to feel that they are woman and a man, not a sister and a brother.  

Victoria would be a fine doctor one day, he continues talking. It would be a perfect career choice for her. I can be your doctor and I can be one right now, Veronica says trying to sound sexy. She never thought that she would fall into saying such a cliché, but desperation is speaking in her. No darling, your job as a translator is just perfect for you, he says and smiles distantly. 

Veronica starts to kiss her husband’s neck, the chest and the stomach. Her hands are sliding down into his boxers and that is a mistake. Oops a daisy, he says and gets up as a lightning would have just hit him. He learned this British saying when he was on a work mission in England. He always uses it when he tries to escape unpleasant situations in a polite way. He even mixes a bit of British accent to his voice trying to sound funny, but he fails badly. Funny and him do not simply go together.

I will make sure that Victoria will get a good mark from her exam, he continues talking as nothing had happened. He graps a towel and walks towards the doorway of the bedroom. I fell in love with him, because he was so different from other men. He was generous, polite and he had good manners. Unlike Jack who used to drink too much and then get aggressive with other people. He was always in trouble, she remembers. Every time she gets sad she tries to think about how bad her old life used to be, but it does not seem to work anymore. It does not matter how much she thinks about it, it does not make her feel any better. 

Veronica is still lying on the bed and she hears the water coming down from the shower in the bathroom. My husband is not a robot, he is a man. He has to be, she says out loud. She gets up from the bed and walks to the bathroom. 

Darling, is that you, her husband asks. Yes, it is me, she answers. I have been thinking, he says. Victoria should apply to the medical school of London when she finishes her high school. I don’t give a shit, she says. I’m sorry darling, what was that, he asks. I don’t give a shit, she repeats. You said something about sheets, he asks again. 

Veronica removes the shower curtain from her way and goes under the shower with her husband. She puts her arms around him and tries to look at him in a seductive way. There is an almost guaranteed job for everyone who graduates from the London Medical School, he says. Veronica lets go of her husband and goes back to the other side of the shower curtain. 

That was a fast shower darling, her husband says and continues to talk about Victoria’s future. Veronica feels angry and frustrated. She takes a hairbrush from the bathroom table and throws it on the floor. Did you drop something, he asks. Veronica leaves the bathroom and goes to the bedroom to get dressed. 

Could you please make one omelet for me, says Veronica to the Italian chef at the breakfast table. The same for me please, says her husband. Could you make one Italian stinky, rotten pizza for me with some macaroni on the top, says Victoria. That is the only thing you stupid Italians can do, she continues. One omelet for her as well please, says her father ignoring her provocation. So about this medical school, he continues. It is a little bit expensive, but it is an investment for the future. 

Why are you talking about a medical school, asks Victoria. It has a great reputation and its professors are well known worldwide, he continues and still ignores her daughter. He is talking to his wife, not to her. I will never study in any pathetic medical school and especially with their retard professors who have born with stethoscopes hanging on their necks. 

Veronica is deep in her thoughts and does not hear what her daughter or her husband is saying. The chef brings the omelets to the table and the family eats their breakfast in silence. 

The car driver is outside, Veronica’s husband says. Come Victoria, you don’t want to be late from your class and I need to be on time at work as well. I don’t give a shit about the class, Victoria answers. Her father ignores the comment and stands up. Bye darling he says to his wife and kisses her on the cheek. See you later. Yes, see you later, she answers to him without looking at his face. Victoria follows him and does not say anything. 

When they are gone Veronica starts to cry, she cannot eat even if she is very hungry. She feels like she would be in a bad TV-episode that always repeats itself. Then she does something that she has done many times before. It is an act that stabs her heart, but gives her pleasure. She is full of sadness and guilt, but she surrenders. She walks towards the Italian Chef, takes his hand and walks him to the bedroom.  She cries silently, he cries as well. She stopped believing in happy love stories many years ago.

Lotta