Krakus.
A nonstop party store waits in Wroclaw.
Non-native Speaker/De facto Native Speaker Black English Speaker Michigander Fred is pulled to its name: Krakus.
Fred approaches the counter with his chosen goods:
"Hizzah up the shizzah."
"Proszę?"
"Inglese? You know da English, Cheeps?"
"Little."
"Great." Fred commences singing, "Tappin' dat shiiii like a keg, mutha other. Here's my stuff, Homediz-Homedis, wit a kiss, little water, chips, ya like dos chips, eh, Daw? Why ya be beezin' on da chips, Cheeps? Daddy gots to get his chips when he beez smokin' da Krakus, you know what I'm sayin’, eh, Jonesy Balonsey? Been lookin' all day lookin' for dat Krak you been keepin'. Why you gotta be all Wro-slavin'? Why don't you Krak-ow dat shit, Krakka?"
The guy stares at Fred, kerblummoxed. Six years of educational establishment English have lead him to understand nothing this RabbleTrouser is talking. Stone-faced as fuck Polak. He totals up Fred's shit, trying to ignore him, hoping he will exit without talking.
"Krakus, eh? Krak dis, muthaaa jivaaa. Krakin' dat ass, ahhhh, Yaz. Krak is us, Chief. Oooo, Cheeps? Peeps."
Fred approaches the counter with his chosen goods:
"Hizzah up the shizzah."
"Proszę?"
"Inglese? You know da English, Cheeps?"
"Little."
"Great." Fred commences singing, "Tappin' dat shiiii like a keg, mutha other. Here's my stuff, Homediz-Homedis, wit a kiss, little water, chips, ya like dos chips, eh, Daw? Why ya be beezin' on da chips, Cheeps? Daddy gots to get his chips when he beez smokin' da Krakus, you know what I'm sayin’, eh, Jonesy Balonsey? Been lookin' all day lookin' for dat Krak you been keepin'. Why you gotta be all Wro-slavin'? Why don't you Krak-ow dat shit, Krakka?"
The guy stares at Fred, kerblummoxed. Six years of educational establishment English have lead him to understand nothing this RabbleTrouser is talking. Stone-faced as fuck Polak. He totals up Fred's shit, trying to ignore him, hoping he will exit without talking.
"Krakus, eh? Krak dis, muthaaa jivaaa. Krakin' dat ass, ahhhh, Yaz. Krak is us, Chief. Oooo, Cheeps? Peeps."
Singing again, "Krakin' on all dat shiii witttt WroCLAWtown's besss niggaaaas, smokin' cigaaas, tappin' dat, Krak, Daw. Dough! I like yo style, Mo. Like it a fuckin' LOT. Shizzah. Krak!"
Pause.
"Dziękuję to yo boo yeaaaah, Daw. Thanks, Chief. Hit dat Krak, Daw."
The Polak doesn't call the cops. He goes back to his newspaper. And wonders when Fred's jetting to Mars.
Shakus!
Pause.
"Dziękuję to yo boo yeaaaah, Daw. Thanks, Chief. Hit dat Krak, Daw."
The Polak doesn't call the cops. He goes back to his newspaper. And wonders when Fred's jetting to Mars.
Shakus!
Stone-faced as fuck Polak....
ReplyDeleteWow..I'm jealous that you can play with language
(No surprise since it's your mother tongue!)